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Memorial Service 2006

The 2006 memorial service took place on Saturday July 15 2006 at St Francis Hall, University of Birmingham.

Led by Reverend Paul Nash, chaplain at Birmingham Children’s Hospital, the theme of the 45 minute service was journeys: signposts and shelters. This theme reflected the bereavement journey families make; the things which provide comfort (shelter) on this journey and the things which show the way (signposts).

                                                                                  Reverend Paul Nash

The service featured songs, times for quiet personal reflection and readings including those by parent Alan Kirk and Lindsay Hogg, clinical nurse specialist at Birmingham Children’s Hospital.

Alan Kirk

Family members were invited to light a candle in memory of their child and write on special cards the things that have helped them on their bereavement journey.

Families were invited to write on a ‘Journeys: Signposts and Shelters’ card what it is that has helped them on their bereavement journey.  With permission we have reproduced some of the responses we received, removing identifying details, as we hope their words will help other bereaved families.  These can be found below.

Families were also able to write the name of their child on a pebble and place it on display.  A number of families who could not  attend in person asked for a pebble to be placed in memory of their child at the service. (All the pebbles have now been placed for safe keeping in a special area of Catherine Arkley’s garden).

Thanks go to South Birmingham Flower Club for making the wonderful floral arrangements and assisting with setting up the hall. Thanks also go to the Heart of England Singers who performed a number of beautiful songs during the ceremony, Birmingham Children’s Hospital play specialists who ran a crèche on the day, and the staff of St Francis Hall. A special note must go to Reverends Paul Nash and Nick Ball for their vital contribution to the planning of the service and leading it on the day. Finally, thank you to all the families who attended the service and shared their experiences with us.

Heart of England singers                                    One of the South Birmingham Flower Club's beautiful floral arrangements

Journeys: Signposts and Shelters - What has helped me on my journey…

• Having a loving family there to support me.

• Acceptance that time helps but does not heal; gratitude for the happy memories; love and support from family and friends.

• The journey is long but the memories sustain.

• Time, memories, counselling, family and friends.

• Having the support of family and friends and being able to go to work.

• Knowing that my child is free from pain and at peace.

• Knowing that so many people remember my child with love and affection.

• Hearing people unafraid to use my child’s name.

• Good friends and family who refuse to let my child be forgotten.

• Talking freely about my child and having a special photograph album.

• My faith and my family and friends.

• Remembering that although short, my child’s life was full of love.

• Happy and fond memories.

• My journey has been one of many mixed emotions, from sadness, anger, loneliness, and maybe even depression. It has taken me a long time to talk about things or even look at old photographs. I am now at a point in my journey where I can remember the good times and laugh. I can now look forward to the future and know that you are still part of my life.

Download a PDF of the order of service.